I had a great time In Spain. It was short and sweet unlike the drink I have in my hand.
Had a funny thing happen on the way back. I know that people take the piss out of Ryan airways: massive queues pay extra for a seat etc, but when I caught a flight back from a quick break in Spain yesterday and was asked to man the emergency exit – my expectations of Ryan Air reached a new level.
I sat at the back of the plane, on the end of an otherwise empty row of three seats when a hostess came to a standstill beside me and knelt down.
‘Sorry to bother you, we wondered if you could help us. One of the members of staff has been taken ill.’I thought – shit! Does she think I’m a doctor? And then I thought am I in a remake of Airplane and did she have the chicken or the fish? She continued: ‘We wondered if you wouldn’t mind manning the exit if there’s an emergency.’ I waited for the punch line and waited a bit longer. She blinked at me as in answer please? I nodded
‘Sure.’ Thinking this is definitely a ‘wind up’ She stood and asked me to follow her into the back. I was expecting to get around the corner and see a singing nun but no. The other stewardess was waiting, smiling sweetly as the pointed to the door I was to be responsible for.
My stewardess continued: ‘Basically, if there’s an emergency, you need to pull up that handle’ she pointed at the obvious red arrow encircling the large handle. Now I realised she was actually serious I debated quibbling and negotiating – can I have a uniform? Can I at least push the trolley once? She leant over and pointed at the black seal bottom of the door ‘then you need to pull a red toggle that you’ll see and then...’ as she straightened up from her demonstration ‘just push the people out.’
The other hostess was nodding, smiling.‘okay?
‘Okay, sure. No problem.’ I said, thinking:next time I will fly with BA, anybody else but Ryan Air. But then again, probably not. I will probably pre book that seat every time just incase I get to be the one who pushes people down the shoot shouting ‘have a nice day and thanks for flying Ryan Air.’ God that would be great...
Comment from anita goldman at 14:57 on 11 August 2010.
i am an avid reader (64 and still working)been reading all my life, come from a family of readers, i live in gordons bay south africa and go to a small library and somehow always manage to find best sellers.
found the trophy taker last saturday and have to have match sticks to keep my eyes open at work, i cant put it down, well done for such a remarkable book.
i lived in israel for 6 years was on a kibbutz for 2, worked at a travel agency and have done a fair amount of travelling but i dont think i will like to go to hong kong, im a winter babe, that heat will kill me, but i can just picture it by your descriptions
i certainly will look out for all your books
keep writing
regards anita
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found the trophy taker last saturday and have to have match sticks to keep my eyes open at work, i cant put it down, well done for such a remarkable book.
i lived in israel for 6 years was on a kibbutz for 2, worked at a travel agency and have done a fair amount of travelling but i dont think i will like to go to hong kong, im a winter babe, that heat will kill me, but i can just picture it by your descriptions
i certainly will look out for all your books
keep writing
regards
anita